Interesting. I deal with something similar in the way where I'm a mix. Who and what I identify with. I used to wish I was white with blonde hair and blue eyes because thats who all the girls liked in middle school. And then early in high school i totally and completely neglected the white side of me to try and be cool like the people in my school who were all minorities. It wasnt until I really got my self together with the whole style thing that I realized that.... I was just happy being myself and accepting every part of me. Its tough though, no matter what Race or color you are.